Being THAT Mom

I know I'm not supposed to be judgemental of other people's parenting styles, and frankly I don't think I am anymore.  Granted, I use to be.  Before I had my own child and knew better of course.  I'm not judgemental anymore, but I feel judged all the time and worry about what other people think.

My darling daughter is shy.  Frankly, I'm not sure shy covers it, but lets keep it at shy for now.  I've spent 6 years taking her to roughly two birthday parties a year that are 'the big' parties.  You know, rent a gymnastics place or indoor playground.  She's very excited to go, but her personality is she needs time, lots of time, to warm up to surroundings and people.  These types of parties typically spend one hour doing the fun thing, then it's in the party room for cake and presents and back to the parents.  It takes more than an hour for darling daughter to start having fun.  So, there I am watching her watch the other kids have fun and feeling embarassed that she's taking up the space of another kid that would be really enjoying this.  I feel like I have to justify to the parents that she'll warm up soon, don't worry about her.  I have to stop them from trying to encourage her to have fun because frankly, there are very few people that she would trust enough to feel comfortable with, and this sets her back further.

What's worse, is sitting in the parents section getting the advise from everyone on what team sports she should be in, how their child overcame being shy, etc.  Then whatever I do say or do while I'm there, I feel judged by the other parents.

I used to push darling daughter more, sign her up for activities that were out of her comfort zone.  I wasn't trying to make her uncomfortable, but increase her exposure so we had a real idea of what she was interested in.  Overtime, I've learned that a ballet class that is 30 minutes once a week, was not going to cut it, she needed longer classes.  A gymnastics class is 45 minutes - great, but with 20 kids - no.   Going to the park when only a few kids are there, she might play.  Going in the middle of the day when it's packed, she'll sit and watch.

It's great knowing these things now, it saves me from being 'that' mom at the lessons or on the playground pushing my kid to do something while other parents watch and judge, or give opinions on what I should do.  Like team sports - soccer - it will be great for her apparently.  Sure, you come to my house and deal with the panic attacks the night before each game.  I'll be on the deck having a glass of wine.