New Year, Same Old Challenges

I am not a writer.  I have friends that blog that are so eloquent, and I always have things to say, but feel I lack the skills to say it appropriately.  My other problem is that I start something, just to never finish it.  I have decided that I will try blogging regardless, so bear with me.

There are so many things that I am interested in, and try everything, but feel I'm a little spread thin and I never do anything well.  I have many examples of this, but I'll leave it at that for now and maybe expand on it at another time.  I do believe this is my biggest character flaw.  So when it came to New Years resolutions, I gave great thought to what I wanted to focus on this year.  All of the standards came up, but before I settled on anything, I saw this:

"Imagine who you want your kids to become.  Be that."

I have a young daughter, and this really spoke to me.  Immediately I latched onto the idea, but that's when the trouble started.  What do I want her to become?  To me, she already has such personality, I don't think much about 'who' she'll become, she seems to already 'be' somebody.  I've been asking myself, what do I need to model so she learns from the best?  I know I'm only one of several people that will influence her, but I do want to teach her to be the best she can be.  I only have the most enormous respect for my own mother, and have only just began to see how I am just like her.  Teachers, bosses, friends have all influenced me, but in my 30's, with my own daughter, I have turned into my mother.

I am different from my mother.  But it is her character traits that are becoming more obvious to me.  So, again I started reflecting on what traits I'd like my own daughter to inherit from me.  Therefore, I have to be the best person I can be in order to teach my daughter the best.

I believe that brings me right back to the beginning of a new years resolution.  Whatever it is, I want to finish it.  I want to do it to the best of my ability and actually have an effect on myself.  Saying I would do this for myself has never worked before, so maybe by saying I will do it to be a good teacher for my daughter will make it so.