Let me start this off with the fact that I know this is all shallow stuff. I hate complaining about how something happened, when most don't even have half the good fortune. I just had to say that first.
Almost 5 years ago, my parents purchased a time share in Florida when my sister and I were pregnant, wanting somewhere to stay while the grandchildren grew up and wanted to go to Disney. So we took a trip when the girls were almost 1 year old more for us as it would be the first and last time we would 'do' Disney without small children. We recently returned. This time we had two five year olds, a three year old, an almost one year, my parents, my sister and brother in law, my husband and my almost 90 year old Grandma. We've had it booked for about one year, and been having some discussions about what we'll do, etc.
In that time, I spoke to other parents of children the same age for opinions, I studied the 2011 guidebook like I was going to an exam. I made sure I made reservations 6 months in advance so that the kids could have breakfast at THE castle with the princesses. A week before we left I sent each child a postcard from their favourite character 'inviting' them to breakfast at the castle (I highly recommend doing this if you know a child going to Disney, my daughter LOVED getting this piece of mail). All in all - I was ready.
My sister's family got the stomach flu on the way down. I can't imagine how hard that was to have three young children in the car throwing up. They get to Florida and we all fall down like domino's. One after another, EVERYONE gets the flu.
I know the flu isn't that awful, and it was basically a 24 hour deal, but wow, it was awful. My daughter got it Tuesday night at 11pm. I was officially up doing laundry 10 mins later, scrubbing carpet (my house is thankfully all wood) and then staying with her all night. I knew, that our reservation with Cinderella was now cancelled and dreaded having to break the news to her in the morning. I did still hold out a hope that she would be up and fine by 7am, but knew it wasn't very realistic.
The next day, I felt sick so we hung around the pool and tried to spend time with the rest of the family who were all starting to feel better (except now Grandma). This is almost the end of the vacation and the only day we were all together for awhile. We had one day left, and still had to make it to Disney. That night, Daddy got sick and it was down to just the two of us for our Disney day.
My daughter is a trooper. Maybe I tried to make up for everything, but everything I tried, failed. We can't have breakfast with Belle and Cinderella, but there is a spot open for lunch with Winnie! Day we could go, not available. Then I talk up the Bibbity Bobbity Boutique, nothing available. Then Daddy gets sick, so no one to ride on the teacups with. Once there, I said she could buy a whole Princess costume, or pick anything she wanted since we got our money back from the breakfast. I promised myself I wouldn't worry about the cost of what she picked. She picked a small stuffed animal - that was it really other than a couple of souvenirs. I was shocked and proud.
The next day, we head home. Poor thing gets motion sick in the car, and I get a bit of an idea of what my sister went through on their way up! It's a couple hours after that it hits me. Where is that stuffed animal from Disney? She was holding it and wouldn't put it down, so how come it's not in the back seat with her? Crap.
Negatives from the trip: all the little disappointments for my daughter, including not having much play time with her cousins. I was upset I didn't have much time with my family, I feel I've been working so much lately and been so rundown that everytime I saw them, I was tired or sick. Not being able to have dinners together, make plans together or even have the kids all go to Disney together.
Okay, now that the whining is done - here are the positives from the trip: impossible to forget. We saved a FORTUNE on food and booze, no one was well enough to eat and drink. I lost a bit of weight. We made other memories. While I really wanted to see my niece and nephews enjoy Disney, all the kids see their favourite characters in person - I had a day with my daughter alone and I was really there - not distracted, not talking to my sister, but there with her. And I guess that is the magic of Disney - even if still on saltine crackers...
A note about Disney. Still not sure about the real value of such an expensive day ticket, but they gave my daughter a button that said she was a first time visitor. Everyone that spoke to us (cashiers mostly) asked how her first visit was. My daughter was wearing her Belle princess dress and everyone, even the guys picking up the trash stopped to call her Princess. Each character made her feel special, they blew her kisses and waved right to her from parade floats. They also refunded our breakfast we didn't make, but still sent her the wand she would've gotten if she had attended. My hat is off to you Disney, I was impressed!
All in all, I was impressed with my daughter. She could have cried, stomped her feet, had a hissy fit, and truthfully, I would have understood. She could have demanded the biggest, best gifts from the store, but chose something small that she loved. She understood when we probably lost the new toy on the side of the road after she threw up, or at the last hotel (and yes I called to check).
Now we're back to our regular lives, but I have some great pictures to remind me of the good memories. And just maybe for the end of the school year, I'll treat her to build a bear for her own keepsake of my love and appreciation for who she is everyday.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
It Takes a Village - So Why Does it Bother Me?
I truly believe that it takes a village to raise a child. I guess lately I've started realizing who that village would include. I assumed it meant people that I chose to include in my child's life; my spouse, his family, my family and our close friends that spend time with our child. I would hope that if my darling daughter was doing something inappropriate, someone would speak up and remind her of her manners or a safety issue. However, the village is larger than that.
1. The store attendants at the plaza down the street. When we rent videos or get something from the store, they see her, know she belongs to me have seen her grow up. I hope that when she becomes a troublesome teen hanging out on the corner that someone else is looking out for her, or at least ready to tattle to me over the morning newspaper pick-up that she's hanging out with a new boy.
2. Parents of her friends. She is at the age of attending playdates without me, so therefore susceptible to what is permitted in their house, their attitudes and behaviours.
3. Daycare workers. This is a team of people I could not live without as a working mom. Darling daughter has been in daycare since she turned one year and I returned to work. I do not take credit for potty training, teaching her sign language or her saying grace when she eats. Whenever I've been presented with a parenting dilemma, I can get advise based on real experience, not just what worked for their kid. Plus, sometimes I get lunch leftovers if I need a fast dinner option.
4. Teachers and school staff. I think the extent of this one is just dawning on me. Obviously my child is in school for the standard hours, learning content that the government feels appropriate. What bothers me, is the extra stuff. Dance-a-thon, skip-a-thon, don't eat for a day, etc. All types of assemblies showing support for various types of causes. Some days I'm grateful, these are all teachable moments, exposing my child to various types of issues. Other days, I wish they would just focus on what I feel their job is, which is to teach her to read and write.
Today we are trying to catch up on her book log. After reading a book, she's supposed to write the title in her log. Every 5th book, she's supposed to draw a picture of part of a story and write about why likes it and some other stuff. I hate this. She hates this. So we get behind. Then I start to wonder, if they would just cut down on 'movie days' and all this extra stuff, the teacher would have more time to, well, teach. Then I could have more quality time with my child than time-outs.
The next part that I have issues with is being made to feel that I'm being tested by the teachers/school. This week we have to fill out how much 'screen time' our child has each day and what activities to try instead of watching tv or playing on the computer. This got my back up. Who are you to tell me how to parent? I don't come to the school and tell you how to spend your time with my child, though that would be great (read above, no more fun stuff - I want that for me). I already self monitor her screen time, so I agree with the documentation. But does it need to come from the school?
If you agree that it takes a village to raise a child, than I guess it does. I suppose I need to get used to this new group of unknown's that are a part of my child's life. I don't know these faceless people. I know her immediate teachers of course, but it's bigger than that. There are people that supervise her at recess, at lunch, when a teacher calls in sick, the librarian, the office staff, gym staff, custodians and of course the school board itself where most of these newsletters must come from.
So this week, I'll have to be vigilant on spending real quality time with darling daughter lest one of these faceless bureaucrats is judging me...
1. The store attendants at the plaza down the street. When we rent videos or get something from the store, they see her, know she belongs to me have seen her grow up. I hope that when she becomes a troublesome teen hanging out on the corner that someone else is looking out for her, or at least ready to tattle to me over the morning newspaper pick-up that she's hanging out with a new boy.
2. Parents of her friends. She is at the age of attending playdates without me, so therefore susceptible to what is permitted in their house, their attitudes and behaviours.
3. Daycare workers. This is a team of people I could not live without as a working mom. Darling daughter has been in daycare since she turned one year and I returned to work. I do not take credit for potty training, teaching her sign language or her saying grace when she eats. Whenever I've been presented with a parenting dilemma, I can get advise based on real experience, not just what worked for their kid. Plus, sometimes I get lunch leftovers if I need a fast dinner option.
Today we are trying to catch up on her book log. After reading a book, she's supposed to write the title in her log. Every 5th book, she's supposed to draw a picture of part of a story and write about why likes it and some other stuff. I hate this. She hates this. So we get behind. Then I start to wonder, if they would just cut down on 'movie days' and all this extra stuff, the teacher would have more time to, well, teach. Then I could have more quality time with my child than time-outs.
The next part that I have issues with is being made to feel that I'm being tested by the teachers/school. This week we have to fill out how much 'screen time' our child has each day and what activities to try instead of watching tv or playing on the computer. This got my back up. Who are you to tell me how to parent? I don't come to the school and tell you how to spend your time with my child, though that would be great (read above, no more fun stuff - I want that for me). I already self monitor her screen time, so I agree with the documentation. But does it need to come from the school?
If you agree that it takes a village to raise a child, than I guess it does. I suppose I need to get used to this new group of unknown's that are a part of my child's life. I don't know these faceless people. I know her immediate teachers of course, but it's bigger than that. There are people that supervise her at recess, at lunch, when a teacher calls in sick, the librarian, the office staff, gym staff, custodians and of course the school board itself where most of these newsletters must come from.
So this week, I'll have to be vigilant on spending real quality time with darling daughter lest one of these faceless bureaucrats is judging me...
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Poor LIttle Whiny Baby
Nothing bothers me more than whiny people. Everytime my husband would get a cold and get whiny I would just want to slap him. When someone close to me would find out I had a cold, I would get the 'oh my god, poor you' phone call. I think this is ridiculous. I believe it is appropriate to say to someone 'I hope you feel better', but really, if it's a cold - get over it. I just want to scream at people "SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP". I believe I have actually said it a few times to my darling daughter lest I raise someone that can't function when they are sick.
I feel like I should give a history. I did not take sick days during school. If I was so sick that I couldn't go to school, my parents would have to tie me down. I volunteered outside of school and held a part-time job while taking part in extra curricular activities. I did not have time to be sick. I still feel this way. So I begin to wonder if I have over extended myself... Because now I am whiny.
There are so many people that have real illnesses, real health concerns, things that make living their life difficult. Someone suffering from a cold or flu knows that they will get better, they just need some rest. I can't take lavishing concern on someone who will be better in a couple of days, and definitely don't want it pointed at me. Until now.
I am so sick of being sick that I want a pity party. I want someone to come bring me chicken noodle soup and say 'poor you'. Mostly because I haven't felt this kind of sick before, the pain has been excruciating and slightly frightening. I hate letting people down and getting further behind in my schedule, but it happened. I called in sick to work on Friday, there was no way I could make it through the day after Thursday which I will fondly remember as the worst day ever that wrapped up the worst week ever. I'm sure it was due to a stressful week, but has my health deteriorated to a point that it can't withstand stress?
Calling in sick one day isn't really the problem, I work enough to make up for it. However, I was to volunteer all weekend and I had to flake out. This bothers me. Usually if I'm sick, I just need a day or two to recuperate, but it's taking a lot longer than that. And while I'm sick, the state of the house is decreasing too which never takes much to happen. I can't afford to take any more time off work as with two 4 day weeks coming up then a short week before a much needed vacation, I can't get behind in my work (without adding more stress).
Yes, the obvious answer is to find a better way to deal with the stress than allowing my health to keep taking these hits. I need to eat well and make time for exercise - but jeez that's half of what stresses me out!
So this weekend, I've had a pity party - my first one. I crashed Thursday night, but in between my sobbing for relief, I remember asking my daughter if she ate dinner while she covered me up with more blankets to ward against the chills. Friday we snuggled as I was more conscious and enjoyed endless hours of My Little Pony. Saturday she had plans with her grandparents so I could watch what I wanted and I was actually able to leave the couch for short periods of time. I have to admit that my husband for once did help out and even bought me ice cream. This has never happened before so I've been grateful. I've even heard the doors on the washer and dryer once in a while so he may be doing laundry (insert happy dance when I have energy here).
I guess the morale of my story is this - even if you think you can do it all and don't like to show weakness, something may force you to. This was my time. Maybe my family pitched in and helped out because they never see me like this. And thankfully, no one has uttered the words 'suck it up buttercup' back to me.
I feel like I should give a history. I did not take sick days during school. If I was so sick that I couldn't go to school, my parents would have to tie me down. I volunteered outside of school and held a part-time job while taking part in extra curricular activities. I did not have time to be sick. I still feel this way. So I begin to wonder if I have over extended myself... Because now I am whiny.
There are so many people that have real illnesses, real health concerns, things that make living their life difficult. Someone suffering from a cold or flu knows that they will get better, they just need some rest. I can't take lavishing concern on someone who will be better in a couple of days, and definitely don't want it pointed at me. Until now.
I am so sick of being sick that I want a pity party. I want someone to come bring me chicken noodle soup and say 'poor you'. Mostly because I haven't felt this kind of sick before, the pain has been excruciating and slightly frightening. I hate letting people down and getting further behind in my schedule, but it happened. I called in sick to work on Friday, there was no way I could make it through the day after Thursday which I will fondly remember as the worst day ever that wrapped up the worst week ever. I'm sure it was due to a stressful week, but has my health deteriorated to a point that it can't withstand stress?
Calling in sick one day isn't really the problem, I work enough to make up for it. However, I was to volunteer all weekend and I had to flake out. This bothers me. Usually if I'm sick, I just need a day or two to recuperate, but it's taking a lot longer than that. And while I'm sick, the state of the house is decreasing too which never takes much to happen. I can't afford to take any more time off work as with two 4 day weeks coming up then a short week before a much needed vacation, I can't get behind in my work (without adding more stress).
Yes, the obvious answer is to find a better way to deal with the stress than allowing my health to keep taking these hits. I need to eat well and make time for exercise - but jeez that's half of what stresses me out!
So this weekend, I've had a pity party - my first one. I crashed Thursday night, but in between my sobbing for relief, I remember asking my daughter if she ate dinner while she covered me up with more blankets to ward against the chills. Friday we snuggled as I was more conscious and enjoyed endless hours of My Little Pony. Saturday she had plans with her grandparents so I could watch what I wanted and I was actually able to leave the couch for short periods of time. I have to admit that my husband for once did help out and even bought me ice cream. This has never happened before so I've been grateful. I've even heard the doors on the washer and dryer once in a while so he may be doing laundry (insert happy dance when I have energy here).
I guess the morale of my story is this - even if you think you can do it all and don't like to show weakness, something may force you to. This was my time. Maybe my family pitched in and helped out because they never see me like this. And thankfully, no one has uttered the words 'suck it up buttercup' back to me.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Spring is here!
It’s hard to even think about if things are going well. Some days I feel great anxiety when I think about all the things going on in my life, which is silly really. If I take a few breaths and look at the big picture, I can calm down again. I am happy with my life, everything that happens is due to something I chose, and I can’t complain. I am unhappy with how I keep treating myself though. I keep making choices that aren’t best for my health. I have gained weight instead of lost it, completely due to poor choices. I am so good at telling other people how to get it done, but I never take my own advice. This time does seem worse than others, usually I can at least get into a great routine for at least a month or so, but not this time.
However, there is more to life than lamenting about my lack of willpower! This was such a busy week filled with little moments. My husband is frustrated with his work, so he’s coming home at a decent hour each night which leads to less stress for him, and my daughter having her daddy home. I picked my daughter up from her Nana’s one night, went to Sparks the next, then a story time at her school another night. Today we went with one of her friends to the movies and had her over for a playdate. It was nice to see two little girls playing in the Spring sunshine with my two dogs while my husband was doing yard work. I love how they run and play without caring what other people think, I hope she can hang onto that for a long time yet. Tomorrow is her last skating lesson but I wish they could go on. It’s good exercise for her, both physically and emotionally. My daughter has a hard time with strangers, even just walking by them. To see her skating with so many people she doesn’t know makes me happy. It will be bittersweet for me too as I get to chat with a friend while we watch our girls, occasionally partaking in arena fare or just a tea.
Everyone in my house is asleep and it’s very early. All the fresh air today did them in while I just breathed in windex and toilet bowl cleaner… Right now I’m working on hubbies birthday cake for his dinner tomorrow. My daughter wants to decorate it so I want to get it done and cooled by tomorrow morning. I’ll be off to bed at a decent time though, I want to wake up early and exercise. It’s a new week and I may as well try again to be healthy…
Enjoy the Spring!
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Ready, Set, Go!
It's been one month back to work. The Christmas tree is down and put away. My house is 'tidy'. While I am starting to get back into crazy mode at work, I'm determined to be better prepared. Last week, I left work at the end of my work day, not too much later. What a difference that extra time meant at home! I actually had time with my daughter, could accomplish a couple of things around the house and exercised a couple of times. As I mentioned, this week is going to be crazy, but I'm feeling stronger this time around. My resolve is getting stronger too. It's easy to hide at work and in my house, but tomorrow is another family function and I don't know what to wear because nothing fits again.
In preparation, I have covered the top portion of my fridge with colourful sticky notes. There are notes on all the foods I should be eating. I made notes of meal ideas, and listed a few new recipes. I need these constant reminders, kind of like signposts for the direction you need to take.
Exercise is a different issue, fitting in little bits at a time is one thing, but I need to put in a lot more effort at a much higher intensity. I have a friend that wakes up at a crazy hour and does real exercise, saying that I admire her is an understatement. Her life is busier than mine and this is her solution, so this shows me it's possible. I think a better time for me is evening, but I need just as much willpower for that as I do for actually setting my alarm at that time. We'll see how this week goes, if evenings don't pan out, my punishment will be the 5am workout the following week...
So, tomorrow. The family function is with my husbands family. I enjoy the company of a few, but I'm socially awkward and tend to either come across as bitchy or too chatty. I don't know what we're supposed to wear, if it's a jeans or dress thing or somewhere in between. I wish I just felt that I looked great in anything and could pull off any look so this stuff didn't worry me, but I don't.
One thing is for certain. I don't watch football, so I won't have to worry about all the bad foods that go along with Superbowl Sunday!
In preparation, I have covered the top portion of my fridge with colourful sticky notes. There are notes on all the foods I should be eating. I made notes of meal ideas, and listed a few new recipes. I need these constant reminders, kind of like signposts for the direction you need to take.
Exercise is a different issue, fitting in little bits at a time is one thing, but I need to put in a lot more effort at a much higher intensity. I have a friend that wakes up at a crazy hour and does real exercise, saying that I admire her is an understatement. Her life is busier than mine and this is her solution, so this shows me it's possible. I think a better time for me is evening, but I need just as much willpower for that as I do for actually setting my alarm at that time. We'll see how this week goes, if evenings don't pan out, my punishment will be the 5am workout the following week...
So, tomorrow. The family function is with my husbands family. I enjoy the company of a few, but I'm socially awkward and tend to either come across as bitchy or too chatty. I don't know what we're supposed to wear, if it's a jeans or dress thing or somewhere in between. I wish I just felt that I looked great in anything and could pull off any look so this stuff didn't worry me, but I don't.
One thing is for certain. I don't watch football, so I won't have to worry about all the bad foods that go along with Superbowl Sunday!
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Some Goals for Today
I guess the challenge is doing what you plan to do regardless of what comes in the way. Unfortunately I guess I didn't meet that challenge. This family seems to come to it's knees in the wake of cold and flu season. Thankfully none of us have been hit really hard with a serious flu (knock on wood), but the general feeling of being unwell seems to be enough to knock us on our butt. And all good intentions go out the window.
I haven't slept well in quite a while. I have a hard time letting my daughter be uncomfortable through the night, and while at age 5 she should be sleeping through the night - she's not. Mostly due to her cold. So I am up, sleeping in fits and spurts which means that while I was feeling better - I now have a cold too. I woke this morning (very early) and forced myself to not lie around trying to go back to sleep. Once dressed, I actually had a spring in my step. I started making lists of everything I wanted to accomplish today. I wrote some down on the fridge so I can have that wonderful feeling of scratching it off the list! Then I sat down to drink my coffee and have breakfast and now I'm fighting my body for control.
So here are my goals for today. The first has to do with a deep dark secret. It's awful, it's humiliating but it has to be said so that I can deal with it. I still have my Christmas tree up. Don't dismiss the severity of this. My tree isn't in the basement out of the view of visitors, it's in my front window in the middle of the living room. So goal one, is to pack it all away once and for all.
Goal two is to clean the main level of the house and put away laundry. Not a big deal for most people but I would seriously rather be taking a nap.
Goal three is to set up the wii. I was waiting for the delivery of our new tv stand to come in today, but it's been delayed. I have to set it up regardless because I've been using it as an excuse to not exercise. I have not exercised once since my first post and my clothes are getting tighter not looser as was the plan. There are so many other ways to exercise, but this has been my excuse.
There it is - I'm trying to keep it simple for now as I really want to take a nap today. Plus, the snow is falling quite fast outside and I know I'm destined to clear the driveway at least once today.
First, I have a decision to make. Do I make another pot of coffee or fill up the water reservoir in the Tassimo? I'll clean up the kitchen and ponder the answer to that. It's a great snow day to get things done around the house and hopefully my daughter is in an agreeable mood.
Now, where is that bottle of Baileys????
I haven't slept well in quite a while. I have a hard time letting my daughter be uncomfortable through the night, and while at age 5 she should be sleeping through the night - she's not. Mostly due to her cold. So I am up, sleeping in fits and spurts which means that while I was feeling better - I now have a cold too. I woke this morning (very early) and forced myself to not lie around trying to go back to sleep. Once dressed, I actually had a spring in my step. I started making lists of everything I wanted to accomplish today. I wrote some down on the fridge so I can have that wonderful feeling of scratching it off the list! Then I sat down to drink my coffee and have breakfast and now I'm fighting my body for control.
So here are my goals for today. The first has to do with a deep dark secret. It's awful, it's humiliating but it has to be said so that I can deal with it. I still have my Christmas tree up. Don't dismiss the severity of this. My tree isn't in the basement out of the view of visitors, it's in my front window in the middle of the living room. So goal one, is to pack it all away once and for all.
Goal two is to clean the main level of the house and put away laundry. Not a big deal for most people but I would seriously rather be taking a nap.
Goal three is to set up the wii. I was waiting for the delivery of our new tv stand to come in today, but it's been delayed. I have to set it up regardless because I've been using it as an excuse to not exercise. I have not exercised once since my first post and my clothes are getting tighter not looser as was the plan. There are so many other ways to exercise, but this has been my excuse.
There it is - I'm trying to keep it simple for now as I really want to take a nap today. Plus, the snow is falling quite fast outside and I know I'm destined to clear the driveway at least once today.
First, I have a decision to make. Do I make another pot of coffee or fill up the water reservoir in the Tassimo? I'll clean up the kitchen and ponder the answer to that. It's a great snow day to get things done around the house and hopefully my daughter is in an agreeable mood.
Now, where is that bottle of Baileys????
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Challenge Accepted
I've been putting this off. I said that I had to finally finish something. I want to work hard at it, but also complete it. I thought about all the things that I want to do and have been debating back and forth what I should do. I would love to say that I will finally practice the guitar daily and become a good enough player that I can 'jam' with people. I would like to be a better home owner and keep my house neat and clean. And oh, the joy at thinking I could get at all my scrapbooking stuff!
However, my priority must be my health. I need to lose weight and get into better shape. If I think back to my first post and about who I want my daughter to be? The answer is healthy. I don't care what she does with her life, but I want her to value the body she has, make food choices that fuel it, and enjoy challenging it with exercise to remain healthy.
Late last year, I started at the Dr. Poon weight loss clinic. I had a lot of problems adapting, and everything fell apart when I got too busy with work. I still haven't started regular exercise. So this is my challenge, what I want to finish. I will get back on track and follow the program. This alone helps my family as I refuse to make separate meals for everyone, so they eat what I eat. I'm just starting to feel better from a nasty bug, but I will start first thing tomorrow. My meal plan is done and mentally I'm ready (meaning all the chocolates have been thrown away).
The other step I need to take is incorporating exercise into every day. I can't say I'll start slow with only 4 days a week or something as I always change what days it is I need to exercise... Every day. 30 minutes won't kill me, and I can tailor it to my mood at the beginning. I'll start something more structured once I make it a habit. For now, it's yoga on Thursdays. This will be how I incorporate spending time with my family. My daughter really likes yoga, and my husband needs to unwind. I've scheduled some family time every Thursday evening for us all to stretch and meditate together. Saturdays, we ice skate. So that's two days taken care of, the rest I'll have to fit in somewhere.
By the end of 2011, I want to be at my goal weight, and not thinking of this as a diet. I know that this is a lifestyle choice, and I'm sure that will come, but right now, it is hard. In May, we have a family trip, and my goal by then is to accept what I look like in front of the camera.
Hey, if I find time to get my house in order, pick up the guitar or scrapbook in the meantime, then great. But my goal is to get healthy in 2011. There, I said it so it must be true :)
However, my priority must be my health. I need to lose weight and get into better shape. If I think back to my first post and about who I want my daughter to be? The answer is healthy. I don't care what she does with her life, but I want her to value the body she has, make food choices that fuel it, and enjoy challenging it with exercise to remain healthy.
Late last year, I started at the Dr. Poon weight loss clinic. I had a lot of problems adapting, and everything fell apart when I got too busy with work. I still haven't started regular exercise. So this is my challenge, what I want to finish. I will get back on track and follow the program. This alone helps my family as I refuse to make separate meals for everyone, so they eat what I eat. I'm just starting to feel better from a nasty bug, but I will start first thing tomorrow. My meal plan is done and mentally I'm ready (meaning all the chocolates have been thrown away).
The other step I need to take is incorporating exercise into every day. I can't say I'll start slow with only 4 days a week or something as I always change what days it is I need to exercise... Every day. 30 minutes won't kill me, and I can tailor it to my mood at the beginning. I'll start something more structured once I make it a habit. For now, it's yoga on Thursdays. This will be how I incorporate spending time with my family. My daughter really likes yoga, and my husband needs to unwind. I've scheduled some family time every Thursday evening for us all to stretch and meditate together. Saturdays, we ice skate. So that's two days taken care of, the rest I'll have to fit in somewhere.
By the end of 2011, I want to be at my goal weight, and not thinking of this as a diet. I know that this is a lifestyle choice, and I'm sure that will come, but right now, it is hard. In May, we have a family trip, and my goal by then is to accept what I look like in front of the camera.
Hey, if I find time to get my house in order, pick up the guitar or scrapbook in the meantime, then great. But my goal is to get healthy in 2011. There, I said it so it must be true :)
Monday, January 3, 2011
New Year, Same Old Challenges
I am not a writer. I have friends that blog that are so eloquent, and I always have things to say, but feel I lack the skills to say it appropriately. My other problem is that I start something, just to never finish it. I have decided that I will try blogging regardless, so bear with me.
There are so many things that I am interested in, and try everything, but feel I'm a little spread thin and I never do anything well. I have many examples of this, but I'll leave it at that for now and maybe expand on it at another time. I do believe this is my biggest character flaw. So when it came to New Years resolutions, I gave great thought to what I wanted to focus on this year. All of the standards came up, but before I settled on anything, I saw this:
"Imagine who you want your kids to become. Be that."
I have a young daughter, and this really spoke to me. Immediately I latched onto the idea, but that's when the trouble started. What do I want her to become? To me, she already has such personality, I don't think much about 'who' she'll become, she seems to already 'be' somebody. I've been asking myself, what do I need to model so she learns from the best? I know I'm only one of several people that will influence her, but I do want to teach her to be the best she can be. I only have the most enormous respect for my own mother, and have only just began to see how I am just like her. Teachers, bosses, friends have all influenced me, but in my 30's, with my own daughter, I have turned into my mother.
I am different from my mother. But it is her character traits that are becoming more obvious to me. So, again I started reflecting on what traits I'd like my own daughter to inherit from me. Therefore, I have to be the best person I can be in order to teach my daughter the best.
I believe that brings me right back to the beginning of a new years resolution. Whatever it is, I want to finish it. I want to do it to the best of my ability and actually have an effect on myself. Saying I would do this for myself has never worked before, so maybe by saying I will do it to be a good teacher for my daughter will make it so.
There are so many things that I am interested in, and try everything, but feel I'm a little spread thin and I never do anything well. I have many examples of this, but I'll leave it at that for now and maybe expand on it at another time. I do believe this is my biggest character flaw. So when it came to New Years resolutions, I gave great thought to what I wanted to focus on this year. All of the standards came up, but before I settled on anything, I saw this:
"Imagine who you want your kids to become. Be that."
I have a young daughter, and this really spoke to me. Immediately I latched onto the idea, but that's when the trouble started. What do I want her to become? To me, she already has such personality, I don't think much about 'who' she'll become, she seems to already 'be' somebody. I've been asking myself, what do I need to model so she learns from the best? I know I'm only one of several people that will influence her, but I do want to teach her to be the best she can be. I only have the most enormous respect for my own mother, and have only just began to see how I am just like her. Teachers, bosses, friends have all influenced me, but in my 30's, with my own daughter, I have turned into my mother.
I am different from my mother. But it is her character traits that are becoming more obvious to me. So, again I started reflecting on what traits I'd like my own daughter to inherit from me. Therefore, I have to be the best person I can be in order to teach my daughter the best.
I believe that brings me right back to the beginning of a new years resolution. Whatever it is, I want to finish it. I want to do it to the best of my ability and actually have an effect on myself. Saying I would do this for myself has never worked before, so maybe by saying I will do it to be a good teacher for my daughter will make it so.
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